.. What has become of me ..

Sunday, August 03, 2008

song: the sound of muzak - Porcupine Tree

ive found out and realised a lot of things lately. everythin juz disappoint me these days. the people i thought i knew for so long, changed so rapidly. theyve changed into people ive never met before, like random people you see on the streets. and its amazin how they could treat someone and act the way they do now. "amazin" isnt the right word, "disappointin" fits in better..

i know that everyone is somehow selfish to a certain extend.. but to abandon someone to save yourself?? i dont know how someone can actually do that.. maybe i do.. i admit that im capable of that and might have done that before.. but the guilt always sets in.. and it stays there.. people do not realise how it affects the people they abandon. they think they can just leave whenever they feel things are gettin to tough. what ever happened to "i'll always be by your side"? lies..

lies and more lies.. people never mean it when they say "i cant imagine my life without you", "i'll always be there to love you".. hey, one advice, dont say it if you dont mean it. you people have no idea how it can affect someones life when you leave that person. if you truely love someone, all you ever need to say is simple "i love you". do not give promises that you will not keep.

and why do people always want more and more. why cant they just be happy with what they have? yah, its in human nature to be greedy. but dont use that as an excuse. humans can make choices. its always your choice that ultimately affects the outcome.

regrets? come on man.. people say that they regret somethin, but do they actually learn their lesson?? many do not. i know so many people who never do. whats the point of lyin to people. maybe you feel better sayin it out and tryin to lie to yourself. save it, seriously. im sick and tired of people who dont mean half the shit they say.

im just so angry and disappointed in everyone, includin myself. ive seen the ugly side of people. what they can say or do.. even the nicest person turns ugly on the inside sometimes.. im really tired.. im tired of people not tryin.. im tired of people who knows what they should do but never does it.. im tired of people who dont mean what they say.. and most of all, im sick and tired of people who cheat and lie to save their own ass.. im not sayin that im perfect, i know im not. people tell me im really nice, but they dont know all the negative things about me.. you people dont know me and will never understand me.

*i promised myself that that day would be the last.. but i still think about the times we had. and i still miss you. its about time i try harder to let go.. i know it'll be easier now, knowin that you dont...............

13:25