.. What has become of me ..

Sunday, March 30, 2008

song stuck in head: to be with you - Mr. Big

omg, i just got home. cant believe i was out for 16 hours!! hahha. well my day started off when i picked her up from her place to bugis to play some pool. i think shes my goodluck charm, i got pretty good with her around. hahah. anyways, the place was pretty nice. shall go there more often. then we headed off to raffles city to get some J.CO donuts and off to suntec macs to sit down and watch a movie on my laptop and found freakin pricks all hoggin the power outlets. so we went all around suntec, mainly the starbucks.. even tried at marina square and esplanade.. until finally!! we found a darn nice seat at the starbucks at one-fullerton. we sat down and she showed me some videos on youtube. it was pretty interestin, its amazin how people can sing so well. yep, so we watched Disturbia. it was pretty good. i enjoyed it and so did she but.. hahhaa.. okok, i wont be mean. it shall be a secret between she and i. we had dinner at burger king and talked about some things and yah.. its really nice to just listen to her. mhmm.. sent her home after dinner. it was all awesomely great, really..

rushed off to clarke quay to watch Thambi K Sieow perform. i dont really like the place. its like those clubbin places. yah.. but anyways, the performance was great. the mats n bengs were just bein pricks over there. we were all pissed off at them. after that we just chilled and stuff.. and i.. umm danced for the first time today. i was pretty weird but hey, who gives a shit. ws just dancin and makin funny new moves with the guys. mega funny!! thank goodness no girls danced with me. i wouldve just walked off. no joke. anyways, yah.. we hung out a lil more before headin home. it was fun tho, i mean like.. its the first time and all.. yepyep

*all i wanted you to know is that i still care.. i'll always be there for you even when i only have the smallest last breath. my feelings have never changed, in fact its stronger than ever. girl, youre beautiful and i cant stop thinkin about you..

03:49

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

song in my head: everything is gonna be alright - Bob Marley

this song never fails to make me feel better about things. i guess i mustve been a lil emotional when i was writin my last post. i guess i forgot the reason why i was alot happier.. no, it wasnt because ive moved on. its because ive realised that it isnt about what i want. all that matters is that shes happy. im not tryin to say that im a nice guy or anythin. in fact, im a horrible guy really.. but i guess when you truely love that special someone, you'll do anythin to change for the better. especially after the.. umm after what happened.. ive learnt alot from it really. even though right now i wish so much for another chance, i cant have it and i wont ask.. its too much to ask of her.. so as long as shes happy..

Seoul Garden and beer and laughter with the guys.. priceless (:

*25 months of lovin you.. and countin..

00:00

Monday, March 24, 2008

song in head: believe in nothing - Nevermore

argh!! i hate this feelin!! why do i aways have to end up feelin this way everytime i.... sighh.. you know, its always easy to help my friends feel better about things but when it comes to myself, im stuck.. argh!! LYON, YOURE F*CKIN PATHETIC!!

*i will not make the same mistakes again.. i will not make the same mistakes again.. i will not make the same mistakes again.. i will not make the same mistakes again.. i will not make the same mistakes again.. i will not make the same mistakes again.... i dont want to and i cant afford to.. i really dont want to.. please.. somebody, help me.. please..

23:28

Sunday, March 23, 2008

song in my head: with you - Chris Brown

i guess i wont complain, cause yesterday was all i need. met her in the evening. thank goodness i brought an umbrella for us to share, or we wouldve been stuck at Cineleisure. we were suppose to play pool, but its a pity the pool places were either closed or packed. so we decided we would find a place to just sit and talk. we searched all around and finally settled down at Coffee Bean at Paragon. there were these nice caucasian couple who told us we could have their dry seats. hahha. it was darn nice of them. so yep, i got her a Mocha Latte while i had a Hot Choco with a brownie and yah, we chatted. somethin was wrong with me though, i kept feelin so.. i dont know.. im darn happy that she was sittin right in front of me. but i was dyin on the inside.. i dont know why i was so sensitive.. sighh.. anyways, there was a live performance at the entrance of Paragon. the singer was good, really good. oh and we bumped into martien and his family there. what a coincidence. hahha. yah.. we didnt do much really, we just made our way to the train station and headed home. honestly, i wished for so much more.. but i guess thats enough for me.. hmm before i log off.. i have one question though, is it selfish of me to write about all these even though she knows very well im talkin about her?

*say you care for me.. you know i care for you.. you know that i'll be true.. you know that i wont lie.. you know that i would try to be your everythin..

21:32

Monday, March 17, 2008

song in my head: all i need - Within Temptation

went for my enrolment medical examination today. was suppose to go to the one in toapayoh, but i only realised i didnt bring my medical form when i got off the bus. so i had to go home and ended up headin to the one at somerset with ezra. yah, we just hangout and stuff before i met natassya, sathish, diki and dave at toapayoh.

today, i felt like how i felt before our last fight. i dont wanna do anythin foolish. i'll do anythin to make sure i keep my word.. even if it means to......

*dont tear me down
for all i need
give my heart a better place
give me somethin i can believe

22:25

Sunday, March 16, 2008

song in my head: untukmu sayang - Amuk/Febians

omg, i cant believe i actually woke up at 3.30pm today. man.. guess a whole day of gigs and an overnight party wasnt sucha good idea huh. hahha. watched tharen perform with En'Strung and guess who i bumped into at the train station.. wati!! hahaha. yah, we left the gig place soon after the performance to watch Withered Tree perform at youth park. couldnt stand the gig place. anyways, Withered Tree was great. but some asshole maht hit me pretty hard before the mosh started. i swear, i wanted to fuckin kill him.. fuckin bastard ran off after he hit me and only came back when i left. anyways, headed for someone birthday party and we got pretty high on drinks. made a special mix when i was already tipsy. its good, i swear. hahaha. yah, only got home at 6.30am. oh yah, special thanks to Zul for helpin me translate the song. im not sure if it right, but it should basically be it.

i had a dream when i was sleepin just now.. sighh.. it was about her still havin feelings for me.. many things have been happenin.. are these signs? sighh.. maybe ive been thinkin too much again..

*i miss you..

the unexplainable beauty of the rainbow
is as wonderful as you, my love
it remains etched in my heart

the sweet scent of flora
is meant only for you, my love
like the sand and the seas
we will never part

my tender lovin care
is only dedicated to you
ive pledged that youre the only one who belongs in my heart
forever and always
my love.. for you, my love

18:34

Thursday, March 13, 2008

song in my head: alive and kickin' - Mr. Big

ahh my lips are burnin and im sweatin. that briyani is spicy man.. but it wasnt worth it. they gave me shit chicken!! the last drum+thigh got taken just before me and the person who took it was some fuckin irritatin malay auntie who cut in front of me. bloody bitch.. and i thought i was bein nice lettin her off. oh well.. anyways, i met up with the girlbestie today. bein out with her makes me darn happy. hmm yah, we had lunch at LJS at marina square then went around searchin for a hair-straightener which we finally found at Carefour. yah.. we were watchin Step Up2. it was pretty good but we both agreed the first one was better. yah.. honestly, im glad i got to see her today..

*you were right there.. and yet.. sighh.. no.. i cant be selfish and think only for myself.. i guess after bein apart for so long, it made me miss you more and more..

21:31

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

song in my head: 2 become 1 - Paul Gilbert (Spice Girls/Led Zepplin/Black Sabbath cover)

its cold!! aye.. i shouldnt have left everythin to the last minute. gotta do so many darn things for the poly enrolment thingy. ergh!! oh well.. anyways, i met up with murny to play pool today. what bad luck man, i kept losin. hahha. maybe i just suck now. well, we went to at somethin after that at serangoon. we almost walked out on the restaurant, yes a restaurant in the middle of serangoon central hahha. anyways, we almst walked out because the jacked up the price. thank goodness we found the student menu. so we stayed and chatted about a lot of things. most about secondary school life and some other stuff. yepyep. i startin to become a huge fan of paul gilbert. hes amazin i swear. ahh i wanna play like him.. gotta work hard!!

*thursday.. i cant wait :)

21:14

Sunday, March 09, 2008

song in mind: to be with you - Mr. Big

i dont like sundays. its so freakin borin!! ergh.. i wish i had somethin to do. actually, i as suppose to go to the beach with florence and her friends. but there was a change plans and it got postponed to friday. so yah, i stayed at home and finished Dexter. now i just cant wait for season3 to be out. yepyep. oh oh!! and i just got my allowance so im not broke anymore!! woohoo!! hahaha. ok, that was random.

you know im kinda proud of myself now. i think ive been a lot more patient and understand. i admit im still quite sensitive, but not as bad as before. i guess i have a better grip on my emotions these days, better control. honestly, ive been a lot happier after realisin a few things. i just hope this isnt temporary and that im not livin in self-denial..

21:42

song in mind: -

ok, im just super glad i got home safely. i swear, im darn jumpy and freaked out now and i swear im not lyin. dave just HAD to show us the messed up pics of sathish and they were watchin some videos of haunted places. it seriously gives me the chills.. anyways, was at shyam rajs party just now. it was pretty borin at first but it got pretty alright towards the end. got to meet a few people and stuff. gotta admit i drank a little too much ad got tipsy. but it was fun overall. damn.. i keep thinkin i have whisky in my mouth and i dont like it. hate the taste to be honest. eeerk..

*hmm.. somebody had to ask the stupidest question today. lemme repeat this, i love only ONE girl and no other. yes, i did have a crush on someone in the past but its a mistake i regret and will never ever make again. my heart is only for one girl and i dont think that is about to change anytime soon.. or maybe not ever..

03:05

Friday, March 07, 2008

hooked to: you dont miss your water(until the well runs dry) - Craig David

errrkk.. i feel so filthy right now. ive been out and got back 3hrs ago and i havent taken my bath. bet all of you are disgusted. hahha. anyways, i woke up at 11.30am today. im such a pig. met up with martien, florence, sureli and shaun to chill out in town. just walked around and stuff, nothin much really. honestly, town is gettin pretty borin. yep. we met shauns friend. i swear, that guy and his gf are weird. they look like a bull and cow with the nose ring thingy. hahha. ok, thats mean. oh yah!! the girlbestie got a B for her A'level Malay!! darn happy for her!! congrats (:

*lookin at your photographs, thinkin how beautiful you are..

21:24

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

hooked to: untukmu sayang - Amuk

oh yes!! ive finally fixed the friggin template. what a relieve man.. hahha. anyways, these past few days have been tirin. went out so much that im broke. yah.. so now, im gonna try stay at home to save some cash. need to pay up for so many things. sighh.. anyways, im really hooked to this song. dont look at me like im turnin into some maht ok!! i just like it song. though i wish i know the whole translation.

*i wish for so much more.. but right now, i just want you to do well..

22:32