.. What has become of me ..

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

hooked to: wont go home without you - Maroon 5

well well well.. today has been sucky at home.. this is why i have to get out, so i wont do stupid things.. sighh.. i gotta try harder. anyways, Stillborn is gonna do its recordin tomorrow at TNT!! woohoo!! just cant wait for it to be done. hmm there are 2 people i need to thank.. martien and ezra, my 2 best buddies who were there for me that day.. thanks KATIK and GEMUK!! hahah.

*i wish she was there by my side thay day..

22:09

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

hooked to: hate that i love you - Rihanna & Ne-Yo

today, right now.. this very minute, this very second.. but it isnt gonna happen.. no matter how much i wish for it, its not gonna happen. all i can say is that im glad that i got to share those memories with you.. those memories that i'll hold so close.. right now, the only thing im thinkin of are the memories we've shared and it makes me smile.. and if you ask me.. this is my answer.. yes, i still do and i always will..

*2 years..

00:00

Sunday, February 24, 2008

hooked to: time & confusion - Anberlin

ok, Meza Virs was fuckin awesome yesterday at Deafcon10. their new track is a fuckin killer, i swear. now i cant wait for their release of their 2nd album. anyways, todays jammin went pretty smooth. we found a new place to jam at, pretty near my place anyways. the studio is pretty good, nice room, good amps, awesome equipment. basically we jammed 3 of our originals to prep up for the recordin on tuesday. just the drum tracks though. then we'll record the guitar tracks on our own. yep yep. just cant wait to hear the final product.

*it was unexpected.. but definitely a pleasant surprise..

20:17

Friday, February 22, 2008

hooked to: breathe easy - Blue

today has been a long long day. was at Palawan beach with ezra, martien and natasher. it was freakin hot i swear. we couldnt even play american football passin on the sand, scorchin man.. well, we happened to witness a chikopek watchin a lesbo couple. i swear, i wouldve thrown the ball straight into his face if ezra would let me. cant stand perverts like him.. anyways, i met up with the girl-bestie at cityhall to have coffee. we just talked and yah, i kinda told her about last nights thing.. though i didnt intend to tell her in the first place.. didnt even realise that i did until i got home.. yah, i guess the topic made things abit awkward.. sighh.. anyways, we had dinner at KFC before headin back. bumped into her sister when i was sendin her home. she seemed shocked to see us. hahha..

*im tryin my best, but it kills me inside..

23:20

Thursday, February 21, 2008

hooked to: arrow - Mr. Big

im so darn tired, but i cant get to sleep.. i guess its another one of those nights again.. sighh.. well, gymed with martien and ezra today. they actually came up with a gym routine. it was pretty tough, but we're still survivin. we laughed so much today. funny thing is, most of the jokes are targeted at each one of us. hahha..

honestly, im not exactly in a good mood now. i just.. i dont know.. everythin seemed fine at first.. then it started to feel wrong.. sighh.. im feelin so fucked up inside right now.. im so angry and pissed with everythin now.. so many things i wanna throw out right now, but theres no one to listen.. yah, i have my bestfriends.. but its so different.. i cant let out everythin to them.. i just miss havin someone special there for me.. argh!! i gotta snap outta this..

*i wanna give up so badly..

22:48

Monday, February 18, 2008

hooked to: love song (the Cure cover) - Anberlin

aww man.. im feelin really tired.. shouldnt have slept so late last night. i slept at 4.30am!! ahh well.. met up with tharen and a few others to film a CSI comedy of our own. hahha. freakin funny shit i swear!! it'll be up on youtube once its done. oh yes, we have another name change for the band. came up with Stillborn. sounds pretty awesome. a little gruesome but what the heck. mhmm.. and oh crap.. my guitar skills dropped again.. shouldve practised for the past few days.. shall get back to it i guess..

*whenever im alone with you, you make me feel like i am whole again..

23:57

Sunday, February 17, 2008

current music: go on girl - Ne-Yo

holyshit.. the first trainin today was super madness. i have my arms, back, shoulder, legs and even my bum hurtin!! but it was pretty fun. yep yep. but the trainin made me late to meet the girl-bestie. she looked WHOOH!! darn pretty today. heh. yep, we went to catch Jumper and had dinner together. it always feels so nice to be out with her.. it was great, really. mhmm

*i wish for more, but i wouldnt ask..

00:14

Thursday, February 14, 2008

current song: paper thin hymn - Anberlin

today hasnt been a good day at all.. i knew it wouldnt be.. i just want it to be over.. i really do..

*love? how can i believe in somethin that betrayed me twice?

21:31

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

current music: we dont have to take our clothes off - Jermaine Stewart

today was alright.. but now its another one of those nights.. im losin all my self-confidence.. i havent been myself lately.. maybe the loneliness really got to me.. or maybe i just want to forget............

23:01

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

current song: green-tinted sixties mind - Mr. Big

seriously, im dead tired. but i cant seem to get to bed. sighh.. anyways, i slept over at martiens place yesterday. it was alright i guess. just that swimmin was darn cold!! hahha. yah.. woke up today and came home to pack up for gym. which we ended up not goin cause ezra had a dental appointment and martien had to meet nat. yah.. its alright though, already set up the pull-up bar in my room. i can do pull ups anytime i want at home now. heh. yepyep.. oh yes, happy birthday tharen!!

*its another one of those nights.. when will i stop feelin like that? when? when..?

00:14

Friday, February 08, 2008

current music: the whole world's gonna know - Mr. Big

"no", she replied to my question. sighh.. just because of that, i messed up the friendship too.. seriously, i wish things didnt turn out that way.. well, im just glad things are fine now. what happened made me realised its funny how someone will see how much somethin means to him only after its gone. mhmm.. so right now, im gonna treasure that friendship that she and i have. not just that, but everythin else too. so yep. from now on, i'll treat myself better. hmm im grateful to have sucha nice bestbro and god-family. hahah. theyve been so nice to me. sighh.. actually, i have a pretty nice life. its time i appreciate it properly. oh yes, and im really thankful to have friends like nailah and wafah. who listened to my problems when im down

*to you - im really happy that we can still be friends. i'll still always be there for you like i promised.

23:25

Monday, February 04, 2008

current song: anything for you - Mr. Big

ahh crap.. im down with a flu. *sniff* this seriously suck.. it better not affect my sleep for the night. well. todays jammin went pretty alright i must say, even though we were missin our vocalist and bassist. managed to complete a new track and half of another new track. looks like we're doin well. JT told me what happened.. sighh.. people these days just dont appreciate what they have, they just wat more and better things.. chill aite dude. looks like i found a job, its an odd job though. at least i'll earn a little bit to put in my bank. gettin so broke these days.. darn.. oh well.. i guess i'll go rest now. *sniff*

*i need you, so darn much.. but somehow, i feel im not the best for you..

23:35

Saturday, February 02, 2008

current song: right here waiting - Richard Marx

today has been one of the happiest days i had for a while. yep, i met up with her today. we couldnt decide on what to watch, so we ended up watchin Sweeney Todd. it was pretty good, only problem is that its pretty much a musical so yep.. well.. we left for Cityhall because she needed to collect her pay. but we met up with JJ before we went. yepyep. JJ left afterwards and we went to grab a drink at the foodcourt. next stop was Suntec. we went around searchin for an ink refill for her printer. man it was a tough one to find but we managed to find it at HarveyNorman. thank goodness we did because she looked pretty upset that we couldnt find it. yep we just walked around and left for home. and just before we part, i did somethin pretty silly.. though i dont regret it.

23:57