.. What has become of me ..

Monday, December 31, 2007

feelin: upset and nothin more

im not the nice everyone thinks i am.. really.. im a selfish bastard. i cant do anythin right.. i cant even make the one i love happy.. dont tell me im wrong.. dont tell me its gonna be alright.. i know its not..

02:41

Thursday, December 27, 2007

feelin: relaxed
current song: if that's what it takes - Mr. Big

comfort me, from a world where no one cares
where the words turn into cages and memories cut like glass
i closed my eyes on you, put the blame on myself baby
the weight is on my shoulders, i throw my heart in the wishin well
ive got to face and tame my demons
its so hard to start over again, yeah, i know.
through trials and tribulations. salvations like a long lost friend

i'll take back all of the hurt,
for your love ive taken for granted.
i'll do anything to change,
if thats what it takes..

no use in pretendin, aint no pride in it all
a cure for independence is when youre standin in the cold
have i used have i used my chances? have my bridges all been burned?
give me a sign of inspiration, to find a stone thats left unturned
i see a distant promise of Eden, liftin my spirit so high
if i can break out of the circle, im gonna kiss that carousel goodbye

* and girl, you make me weak and you know it.. of only....

22:33

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

feelin: glad
current song: intermezzo liberte - Arch Enemy

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!! today is the happiest day that i had for a long time. yepyep. went out with chin hwee in the afternoon to buy a present. man.. we went from orchard to plaza sing to marina square to plaza sing again to cineplex and finally met up with jiaxuan at paradiz. hahahha. yah.. i bough the present at marina square though. hmm yah.. so we played pool at paradiz before i left for millenia walk to meet my girl bestie at her work place. spoke to jj a little cause she works there to. we had dinner at swensens and just walked and chilled at clark quay until christmas came. mhmm. i had a lot of fun.

*all i wanted for christmas was you.. im glad that you were there (:

01:38

Saturday, December 22, 2007

feeling: sleepy, cheerful
current song: i will survive - Cake

good mornin people!! ahh man i had an awesome sleep. im feelin great 8!! hahaha. well as most of you know.. IM BACK IN SG!! hahhah. it feels good to be back, but honestly, i kinda miss Kuwait right now. ahh well.. so yep, i got back last evenin came home to chill before meetin chin hwee. man, i miss that dude man. we headed for town. i got some US cash changed, the stupid indian money changer thought my 50bucks note was a fake. idiot.. thank goodness it wasnt though!! =S hahha.. so yep, we just chilled around while waitin for ezra to join us. the only person missin is like martien. pity hes in Europe. yah.. we just walked around town was was super crowded n oh oh!! i bumped into sofie!! like finallyi got to meet her in person!! hahhah. yep yep. last night was nonstop laughin man.. and im gonna meet the guys again later. hahha. so yep.. laterz!!

*i cant wait (:

08:26

Thursday, December 20, 2007

feelin: excited
current song: goodbye tonight - Lost Prophets

guess what!! im leavin tomorrow!! bet you guys are darn happy about it. you better be!! haha. jkjk. yah.. i just bought the souvenirs today. it was hard i swear. tsk.. but ahh well, i got it. yah.. wish me a safe flight back aite? heh. i cant wait to see you guys man!!

*i cant wait to see everyone.. especially you (:

02:54

Monday, December 17, 2007

feelin: tired
current song: hand me down - Matchbox 20

god i feel so blind. i think ive been starin at screens way too much for e past few weeks. gotta let my eyeballs take a break. i'll get to it after i finish this post. hahha. well.. today was prety borin actually. had a retro prty at my place 3 nights ago.. it was prett borin, luckily i had a few friends over. pity one other friend didnt come. hmm went for chris's birthday party 2 days ago. he and his friends just celebrated it at a lan store. was pretty borin actually. headed down to allans place for his xmas party and yah, i crashed at his place. we just chilled had a few drinks and played CS source until his dad came in to scold us cause of the noise. hahha. well.. another 3 days and i'll be on the plane back. god, you guys have no idea how much i miss you. hahha. really look forward to the gatherin man.. aite i can hardly see what im typin now. so.. gdnight!!

*i need to know girl.. cause im so lost and every thought of you just drives me crazy..

02:46

Thursday, December 13, 2007

feelin: tired
current song: empty words - Death

Charles Michael "Chuck" Schuldiner, born 13th May 1967, died 13th December 2001. it has been 6 years without a sound from you. Death fans will miss you always and never will forget you..

*just another week more.. how i miss your voice..

22:39

feelin: muscle ache!!
current song: no promises - Shayne Ward

you know what? i cant even remember most of the things i did today. hahha. i knew i ate, was on the laptop, played my guitar, went out for a while and had a teppanyaki(i hope i got that right) dinner and.. yah, thats it!! hahha. ahh well.. will be leavin in another 8 more days if you guys are wonderin.. yah.. i miss you guys man..

*hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
every time youre near i feel like im in heaven, feelin high.
i dont want to let go, girl. i just need you to know girl.
i dont wanna run away, baby youre the one i need tonight, no promises..
baby, now i need to hold you tight, i just wanna die in your arms..
here tonight..

00:32

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

feelin: stuffed with food!!
current song: hate that i love you - Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

had a good sleep last night. woke up prtty early today. yah.. chatted with a few friends online before workin out a little bit. yay, my chest muscles and abs hurt. the feelin is great!! that so SM man.. eee.. hahha. yah, just bought some dvds home. mostly horror stuff. been tryin to scared the shit outta myself.. doesnt seem to be workin much. ahh well.. aite then, signin out now..

*and i hate how much i love you girl. i cant stand how much i need you. and i hate how much i love you girl .. but i just cant let you go.. and i hate that i love you so..

23:10

feelin: okay
current song: nothing but love - Mr. Big

today was hmm nothin special happened actually. woke up early this mornin, a thought came to my mind and i couldnt go back to sleep. been startin to think a lot again these days actually. sighh.. chatted with people online and watched Starwars. worked out a little bit. my stamina is shitty man.. ahh well.. went to Allans place cause his sister had a birthday party. we just chatted and stuff. yep yep. so nice of him to give me 2 of his drawings. they look awesome. yah.. so now im back home. i feel so tired.. physically and mentally..

*i realise that i cant do it.. maybe for a little while.. but it never lasts long.. i need....

00:46

Monday, December 10, 2007

feelin: messed up
current song: shadow on the sun - Audioslave

i miss everyone in S'pore.. especially....

*im thinkin of you.. but is that me youre thinkin of too? i hope so.. i hope so..

02:48

Saturday, December 08, 2007

feelings: unwell
current song: linger - the Cranberries

yesterday was fun. got to meet this guy, Allan. we hanged out and stuff like that. we actually jammed a few songs and stuff. pretty cool. got up early today cause i needed to go early to get my effects adapter before the shop closes. yah.. had a pretty bad stomach.. held it all the way home. im feelin a little weak now, maybe i shouldnt have done held on.. holdin on to anythin never turned out well for me anyways..

to queen of the nile: hey cheer up ok? things will be better for you. im sure of it. just stay strong and have some faith!! (:

to my buddies: dudes!! i miss you guys man. ezra, im cold(you know what comes next. hahha!!).. martien, you probably wont get this but anyways, have fun in Europe!! yah.. meet up when i get back aite?

*i'll be quiet..

18:10

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

feelings: confused
current song: A Swarm of Plagues - Naglfar

aye.. today was shit borin!! ahh well.. at least i went out. imaine if i stayed at home, i wouldve gone mental!! hahha. followed my mom to buy some stuff and i checked out some effect pedals. gonna go to another store to get it on thursday. yep yep. hmm well i wanna apologize to those ive vent my frustrations on for the past 3mths or so.. im sorry. you guys have so patient. really, thanks (:

*is it love or obsession? either one caused me to make a mistake. and fortunately, i was able to correct the problem as though it never happened. it'll never ever happen again.

01:16

Sunday, December 02, 2007

feelings: happy
current song: Jaded - Aerosmith

whee!! i got my new guitar like finally!! hahaha. its an Ibanez RG series. i'll put up a pic of it on friendster. heh. well yah.. got to meet a girl here. shes cute. hahha. shall not reveal her name. hmm yep yep. man i miss the peeps in Spore.. cant wait to go back to party!! WOOHOO!! hahaha. ok, im feelin high.

*im beginnin to let go. i dont wanna be sad anymore :)

21:18