Sunday, September 30, 2007
mood: cheerful, missin hergot took a bath. feel so fresh. hmm well today wasnt as productive as i thought it would. what am i sayin, it ALWAYS isnt productive. errg.. oh well.. went to so many places just to study. we got kicked outta Long John Silver close to 5 and we headed back to potongpasir to try our luck. macs was packed, so yep, ended up in KFC. i swear, the fuckin mahts are so fuckin irritatin!! low-life bastards who only know how to drive bikes. i know its mean, but what the fuck, suddenly shout at us for no reason at all?? anyways, ezra and caryl joined us later. talked so much. hahaha. couldnt stop laughin and singin. so yep im back home now. so not lookin forward to school tomorrow.. sighh..*why do i have the feelin youre tryin to let go.. are you really? i hope it isnt true.. i hope it isnt true..
22:29
Saturday, September 29, 2007
mood: confused, sad..hey there. just got home. pretty tired.. well today has been good, but somehow, i feel down. been feelin down alot as you can see from my other posts.. but today was different.. well anyways, had chemistry tuition this mornin before rushin off to meet ezra. headed off to town to have lunch and chill. we got pulled into California Fitness and guess what, we joined!! im not too happy about it actually.. cause i wont be so hardcore about it. and besides, its expensive. but oh well, too late to regret i guess. and yah, met up with florence then her friend joined us later. just you slacked around cityhall. had a pretty interestin, yet depressin talk with ezra and florence at macs just now.. sighh.. am i a mistake?*i looked and hoped.. but i guess i aint that lucky.. i need you so much right now.. i miss you so much..
23:38
Friday, September 28, 2007
mood: bored, lonelymy stomach feels weird.. i think its because im hungry. didnt have dinner. hmm meh.. hahaha. well school was, once again, a bloody waste of time. didnt even learn anythin. so yep, went back right after lessons to change and rest before meetin ezra for lunch. and guess who i bumped into.. JHANSI!! hahaha. it has been ages man.. yah.. and i came back like around 3.. been doin practically nothin from 3 til now.. man.. how borin..*i really hope youre doin alright for your papers..
21:34
Thursday, September 27, 2007
mood: beginnin to get cold..hello. today has been well.. alrite i guess. school was a bloody waste of time.. thank goodness i was gonna meet ezra and florence to watch Shutter at ezras place. pretty freaky actually, especially the last part. wouldnt want that to happen to me man.. i even freaked out while i ezras bathroom cause of the damned mirrors. hahaha. yah, so we went to toapayoh to just hangout. i actually studied a little bit at long john silver while they were watchin me. hahha. and we had Sakae Sushi for dinner. mhmm..the talk under their block was interestin tho.. talked about so many things..*ive been thinkin so much that i dont even know what im doin.. i miss everythin we had..
22:37
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
mood: disappointed, relieved to have such friendsjust got home at like 11. so freakin tired. Amaths was a torture i tell u. DS kept screamin.. ergg.. thank goodness its over. went with jon hong to collect his ipod together with pohjing, jiaxuan, jon lim n xavior. yep. and we had lunch at Soul Garden. was so freakin full and i almost vomitted my food out listenin to pohjings jokes. hmm came home to a surprise. the damned electricity was cut off!! ergg.. no point stayin at home so i showered with COLD water and no lights. ergg.. and met the usual group at potong pasir macs. yep yep. and we actually hanged out til 10.45. hahaha. so mhmm.. im home..*i know there has been a lot of tension between us ever since it happened.. i have been irritatin and not really been a friend.. i know.. well, ive been sayin things about givin you space but i really havent.. and i say goodbye but i didnt go.. honestly, i wonder why.. and i know.. but i wont say it, cause i know you have the answer. im disappointed how you replied my message last night.. i thought you would at least be glad to know that i still cared and remembered.. especially the date.. i actually stayed up to wait for the exact time.. well, how can i blame you. i never ever.. well now, i know im like the bad guy and everythin i do is wrong. i admit it.. i dont deny it.. but i wonder if im really your friend or not.. do you treat me as one?? maybe youre still angry.. i understand.. but givin me this kinda attitude when i try to be friendly and nice? that i dont understand.. whatever the case, we'll talk after your exams. do remember your promise and i hope you'll do well for your promos. honestly, i'll never forgive myself if anythin goes wrong..
23:20
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
mood: tired, thinkin if i shouldim so tired.. just got home from gym. looks like theres gonna be muscle aches tomorrow. hmm met at ezra in the mornin though. didnt go to school cause today was just a waste of time. yah.. we just slacked while waitin for florence cause she was joinin us. caryl came though. but she didnt gym, was studyin at toapayoh macs while we were gymin. poor florence didnt bring her shoes. thank goodness her maid brought it for her. or else it'll be such a waste of money. yah, met caryl at macs and slacked before headin home.. was thinkin on the bus..*i failed.. i failed at everythin, as your boyfriend even as your friend.. true, its mainly because i just wont give up and let go.. but can you? i thought by keepin a distance from you yet a little closer, i can give you the space you need and yet show you that im still here.. but what happens? i gave you more pressure.. why do i keep doin the wrong things? even when i meant well.. do you really wanna let go of me? every person who knows tells me "its ok. you 2 will be together again". and they say "dont blame yourself, its not your fault" im sick of all that.. its not fine, and it is my fault!! i truely wanna believe that things will be fine.. but im losin hope.. i dont wanna give up, but im losin hope.. im imperfect, i make mistakes.. so let me ask you a question.. am i really such a bad boyfriend, a bad friend, a bad person?
19:34
Monday, September 24, 2007
mood: shattered*im so tempted to do it.. should i? should i not? it repeats in my head.. i cant think of anythin else. just you and that 2 questions.. im shattered.. torn apart like never before.. i want to be with you so much.. i miss you so much.. i love you..
19:49
Sunday, September 23, 2007
mood: tired, in thoughtsim so tired.. juz got home. was out with ezra n florence again. i think they'll be e new ppl i'll be hangin out with. hahha. yah.. we did nothin much really. juz sat at rooftop of Vivocity, juz talked n listened to music. yah.. n so we left for pp macs for late late dinner. yep yep.*im thinkin of you.. i always am.. but ever since that day, ive been thinkin of you every second of the day.. you know, i wanted so much to tell you last night how much i miss you.. but i just couldnt.. i didnt want to say or do anythin that will affect you negatively.. especially since your paper is startin tomorrow.. i just feel like lettin everythin burst out.. and it hurts so much to hold it in.. so all i can do is tell you here, for now.. I MISS YOU..and i hope you still do think of me..
23:28
Saturday, September 22, 2007
mood: good, lookin forward to tonightheylo. im denched with sweat.. hahha. hmm today has been fun. had tuition in e mornin, went well. learnt quite abit so i guess i shld go for more. met ezra at ppl mrt. sucha disappointment tt no one else was free but oh well.. at least florence joined us later. felt so much lyk a fag outtin. hahaha. watched Rogue Assassin today. pretty gd, u guys gotta watch it. mhmm n we went to Mind Cafe for 2 hrs. it was freakin hilarious n fun. well too bad florence had to leave early. so its back to e fag outin again. hahha. had dinner at marina square n talked.. thanx dude, for givin me a listenin ear.*ive sorted my thoughts straight. ive decided that i wont put any pressure on you. but i'll show you little by little how much you mean to me. whats important now is your studies and i'll be there for you. be it afar, be it right next to you. i'll be there.. yes, we are just friends now, but that doesnt mean i dont love you like before. in fact, im still lovin you more each day. and it will only stop when my love for you dies with me. you'll see someday and i really hope that when you do, it'll change your mind..
22:19
Friday, September 21, 2007
mood: tired, disappointed yet still determinedcrap, i ate so much today. there goes my gym workout for tis wk. oh well.. had sch today. pretty alrite except nigel was bein freakin again. hes laughin even louder now, weirdo. physics was slacked. n chapel was crap. met up with uncle eddie whom i havent seen in lyk wat, 7/8 yrs?? yah.. he has grown fatter tho, use to be muscular. yah.. juz had to pass my moms ic to him. mhmm.. chem remedial was a major piss off coz e fuckin teacher was bein all irritatin.. bitch.. but i di learn a lil bit of Energy Change. prett interestin. n yah.. had lunch with e guys n came home thinkin i cld slack but i went to meet up with tharen, cat n e guys. met at Botak Jones n we bumped into tim!! hahaha. yah.. nat was pretty emo today tho.. wonder y.. oh well..*i may look fine, but in actual fact, im not.. only i know how much it hurts.. but i will hang on strong.. cause i want you by my side again.. i dont dare to promise you anythin, but what i can promise you is that i will try my very best and that my love for you is true..
21:08
Thursday, September 20, 2007
mood: feel loads better, missin hermy muscles r achin. think i did abit too much at e gym today. well ezra had rashes so it took him quite awhile to confirm e meetin time. poor fella, had it since ytd. take care bro!! hmm yah, had lunch at fork&spoon. omg we saw tis chair in courts, super style n nice.. i wanna get it but.. its lyk 1000bucks!! wtf.. so yah.. anyways, tried studyin chem today. wasnt productive but yah, did a lil. watched Rob Zombie's Helloween2007. pretty freaky but borin. too many sex scenes.. tsk.. yep yep.. so i guess i shld go slp now. sch tmr. be back tmr, cheers*minutes felt like hours, days felt like years.. wishin and hopin to see your face, to hear your voice once again.. i miss you..
22:38
all i really had was you.. without you, im just lost, no knowin where to turn and where to go.. but its so different.. everythin is so different.. not bein able to see you drives me crazy.. not bein able to listen to you at night drives me insane.. not bein able to say "i love you" just hurts, it hurts my heart.. if i had a wish, i would wish for us to be happily together again, another chance.. but no, now i just wish for your pain to go away. it hurts me so much to see you like that and to know that i did this to you.. i can never forgive myself for that.. i cry every mornin, every night, every day.. it hurts.. im losin hope bit by bit, just as im losin you little by little.. the part of me that still holds on strong, is your place in my heart.. even if youre gone, that remains.. and it will always be there no matter where i am. it will always be there.. i understand if you wont give me another chance, though i hope you will.. but i'll continue patiently waitin, because thats all i can do and because i love you..
08:09
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
mood: prepare for "muggin" mood, numb..heylo.. juz got home from sch. really tired.. been tryin my best to listen in class today. muz say, it went pretty well.. at least it can be a distraction.. anyways, saw a kid fell while on e way to sch. poor fellow, tripped while runnin after e bus. pretty nasty cut on e chin. helped him up n brought him to potong pasir mrt to clean up e blood. hope hes alrite. hmm nigel was weird today. ok, weirder actually. kept laughin for no reason. n its loud, so its lyk freaky =S hmm chem prac was fun. yah.. back home now.. i guess i shld go study aye.. i guess it helps keepin my mind bz..*3 days without hearin your sweet voice.. 3 days without your mornin messages that makes my day.. and it has been 3 days without hearin you say those 3words i took for granted.. and thats my deepest regret.. i wish to talk to you so much.. but i cant, i just dont know how to.. and i know it hasnt been any easier for you too. so i wont add on to your pressure.. just hope that youre fine.. but i just miss you so much sweetheart.. i miss you so much..
14:59
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
mood: determinedhello. man im feel so drained.. juz showered after comin back from gym with ezra. thot i wld make me feel better, but.. hmm well, sch was fine. didnt do much really. but physics prac was pretty fun. skipped an arrogant teachers lesson. n yah, free period for e last 2 periods. juz sat down n talk. yep. met up with ezra first n we met caryl next. headed to toapayoh to hav lunch. n guess who we bumped into, florence n her group of frienz. yep yep. havent seen sureli since ages ago. bumped into shiqi too, got smacked on e arm as usual. hahha.. somethings juz nvr change.. well, i shld be goin. need to study.. so, cheers*i flipped open my chemistry book, and i saw these exact words you wrote on it, "I LOVE LYON!" and i just cant hold the tears back anymore..
18:31
Monday, September 17, 2007
mood: better, thinkin of youfeel so much better after a warm bath.. today was, well, pretty disappointin but fun too. got back my results, failed my sciences n amaths.. sighh.. i bet i failed my humans too. still no improvement.. i muz do well. i promised.. anyways, had e saints hunt rehearsal. alot more fun than i thot it was. learnt how to pose n dance. yes, u heard me, dance. hahha.. well, its gonna be my first time.. yep yep.*i cant stop thinkin of you.. i need to noe if i still stand a chance..
19:34
Sunday, September 16, 2007
mood: soaked, eyes swollenwell its over.. but it was e best ever. n i will nvr ever forget everythin. i'll wait coz who noes, maybe there wld be another chance in future. i giv u my best wishes n hope tt u'll be happy.. coz as long as u r happy, i will be too..*i will always..
15:30
Saturday, September 15, 2007
mood: envious, a lil sad, happy(got to see her at least)god im so tired.. well juz got back home. met up with my darl today. headed to suntec starbucks to study. tt sily gal did tell me somethin funny today. hahha. shall not be mean.. dont worry baby ur secret is safe. hahha. yah.. she was fastin today so yah, had to constantly remind myself not to hold her hand. probably it went too extreme eh? hmm yah.. e muggin was terrible, cldnt concentrate at all. sighh.. shall try again tmr. we caught No Reservation today. pretty gd show. n yah, catherine zena jones is pretty. it was funny in e cinema tho. we had to wait til 7.10 before we can eat. was a torture holdin e food when u cant eat u noe.. hahah. yah, we had kfc after e movie, she didnt eat much tho. hmm n yah.. we went back home n now im gonna end tis thing n go take a bath.*i noe im not suppose to be thinkin tis way.. but i envy the others..
22:45
Thursday, September 13, 2007
mood: excited, lazy, uncertainwent over to ezra place today. tt fella called me over to help him finish his pizza. hahha. funny.. bumped into florence n prithibar on e way. has been ages!! hmm.. so yah, juz salcked at his place. damned Two Worlds i downloaded didnt work.. errgg.. spent a wk downloadin it man.. waste of my time.. so anyways, ezra introduced me to Fable which is addictive. pretty cool for a pretty old game. mhmm.. came home around 7 n bout some dinner. yah.. still playin e game. man id better go read up on my sciences soon!!*maybe it wld be better tis way.. well, at least i hope..
22:13
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
mood: disappointedman im seriously losin my voice. might even be able to speak tmr.. ok well.. gotta drinks loadsa water i guess. anyways, today wasnt as productive as i thot it wld. guess its better if i studied outside alone. might juz do tt tmr. hmm met martien at cityhall to juz chill. walked around marina square. we walked one big round(2 actually) before we decided to hav dinner at boat quay. so yep, we ended up at burgerking. ate so much man.. hahhah. oh well.. hmm we meet up with ezra n his dad at bugis to juz relax. ezras dad is hilarious i tell u!! man all e funny stuffs he say. hahha. told us one ghost experience too. freaky =S anyways, yah.. thank gdness he was nice enuf to drop me off. or i wldve had to take a long bus ride. poor martien tho. hav to take a train..*i'll let things be.. n see wat happens..
22:39
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
mood: i-just-dont-get-understand..finally home on my bed once again. man, today has been a pretty long day.. so tired.. anywas, had gym session with ezra. didnt do much bench press actually. concentrated on pull-ups, bicebs n tricebs trainin. did a lil abs too. hmm slacked around tpy before headin home to grab my laptop. hahha was tryin to get ezra to see tis really sick pic. but i failed, sadly.. maybe next time aye? hahha. we headed to his hse but his dad insisted on pickin us up n hav lunch. so yep, we did together with caryl n ezra's sis too. mhmm.. den juz slacked at ezras place. damned com wldnt lt me connect to his net. dammit.. but i learnt somethin cool today. n its a secret. heh heh. yep yep. had dinner at some mushroom pot restaurant thingy for my bros bday today. pretty alrite, didnt really lyk it tt much.. so yah..*i need a lil more attention from u.. or maybe im juz bein insecure.. still cant shake tt feelin.. nvm, doesnt matter..
21:23
Monday, September 10, 2007
mood: ok, a lil determinedman im totally stuffed. hmm well, today was hmm i dunno. nothin special?? e amaths paper 2 was juz bullshit. cant do so many qns. well, dd a lil more than e paper 1. bumped into caspar on e bus so yah, juz sat with him. he seem a lil better than before. maybe i shld giv him a chance eh? n man it was rainin. had to run to sch. aww, i juz showered n did my hair.. tsk.. hahha. yah, got to sch drenched. was freezin in e examination hall man.. had lunch at kfc with jia xuan n lim. laughed so much, mostly at jia xuan tho. hahha. kkz, wont be mean. yah, was suppose to meet martien n ezra at martiens hse. but i guess it was a lil too late so i ended up stayin at home.. cant wait for tmr to come. gonna mug!!*tryin my best to smile..
21:32
Saturday, September 08, 2007
mood : so-so, in thots..today was hmm pretty alrite. met ezra for breakfast at pp macs before studyin. didnt do much but at least a lil bit. learnt somethin on integration. aye wat am i thinkin, u dont wanna noe wat im doin. hahha. anyways, bumped into rong qiang n hisyam. n i bumped into weiliang n chin hwee at kfc. hahha. wat a coincidence.. met e gf to watch a movie. pretty glad we got to meet more often durin tis hols. will be goin back to once-a-wk again. oh well.. we caught Ratatouille. it was gd. really well made. feels cosy juz sittin there with her.. =]*i wonder if ur truely happy..
22:32
Friday, September 07, 2007
ahh~ so refreshed after a nice bath. shitted too. hahha. argh.. heard my dad n grandmom talkin bout me.. watever la.. stupid family.. anyways, studyin was productive. did only amaths tho. studied with my gal at siglap starbucks. wat a horrible weather today. e sun was blazin!! argh.. but starbucks was freakin cold!! hahha. i complain too much aye.. had kfc, my only meal of e day.. argh.. im so hungry now.. but meh, cant be bothered to see their faces outside.. hmm i dunno if im doin enuf for her.. juz got tis funny feelin u noe.. lyk im not doin enuf.. sighh.. im thinkin too much again..*i understand enuf to noe.. stupid family
21:20
Thursday, September 06, 2007
i guess it didnt turn out as bad as i thot it wld.. it was still uncomfortable tho. hmm maybe its a start.. hmm anyways, stayed at home most of e day. doin nothin n my mind was juz blank. weird huh? hmm chin hwee came over to take e mooncake i was suppose to pass to him. juz caught up a lil. den i met up with tharen n nat in town. nats frienz were weird n extreme smokers.. eerk.. anyways, we left for cityhall to hav dinner. had my fav ham&sausage baked rice at pasta mania. mmm~mmm.. hahaha. tharen made me laugh til i almost vomitted out my food man. oh yah, n i tell u.. some ppl juz take advantage of e ppl servin em.. doesnt mean tt when they serve u, u can be rude n order em around.. assholes.. anyways, we slacked at clark quay for a lil while before goin back. man.. headache man.. cant get a damned cab from where we were. so we ended up takin a train. thank gdness it didnt take long tho. so ye, back here on my bed right. need to take a bath, i think im startin to stink. hahaha. aite aite.. til tmr*i still feel tt way..
22:36
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
heylo.. juz got home. havent even showered man. hahha. oh well.. anyways, thank gdness e fever is gone. at least i can slp better tonight. mhmm.. met up with her to study today. took quite awhile for us to decide where to study coz everywhere was so damned packed. we ended up studyin at marine parade macs. yah.. pretty disappointin tt i cldnt study much. still wasnt feelin tt well u see.. yah, we left for popular around 5 to get e printer ink thingy. den we dropped by parkway to get some stuff n dinner. n guess wat, we bumped into huda again!! man.. tis is gettin a lil bit freaky.. hahha. hmm we juz sat at siglap park n talk n stuff.. hmm.. oki dokes, gonna bathe now..*im tryin my best to stop all these insecurities..
22:07
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
im home!! meet up with e martien n ezra for a lil while juz now. man.. tired.. todays gym was pretty dumb. didnt workout as much as i expected to. swimmin sucked too. oh well.. ezra ws late tho. tt idiot wke up at 8:50 when we were suppose to meet at 9. hahha. n mr chin hwee who was supposed to come with us juz slept thru. argh.. so anyways, we had sushi for teabreak(kinda lunch n dinner together actually. hahha) yep yep. really full now man.. hmm we juz slacked round after tt. followed martien to collect his score bk. dropped by to-megatherion to say hi to deen. new stuff came in tho. MOONSORROW!! woohoo.. didnt buy it, but soon!! hahha. oh yah, i bought a 1gb SD-card for my phone. finally can put more stuff. pretty gd buy tho. 36bucks. mhmm.. aye speakin bout phone. e damned phone fucked up tis mornin. somethin wrong with e network or somethin. thank gdness i got it fixed. whew.. hahah. oki dokes, shall go transfer e stuff into my card now. cheers!!*i wonder if things will go fine..
19:31
Monday, September 03, 2007
hey ho.. juz got home. man im so tired. went over to martiens place today. pretty fun. oh yah, i swear man. indian gals r freakin irritatin. they can really match-up to e ah lians.. argh.. how e hell was i gonna let em hav e seat when they dont even let me get off, plus i was carryin loadsa stuff.. idiots.. anyways, it rained!! hahha. yah.. martien n i juz caught up on stuff. watched him play Ghost Recon. pretty cool shit. oh yah!! n i watched Evan Almighty. u shld watch it. hilarious i tell u. hmm den i had dinner with his family outside. man they really treat me lyk part of e family.. theyre so nice.. sighh oh well.. but it was a gr8 day tho. =)*im losin hair!! ARRRRRRGGHHHHHH!!
22:38
Sunday, September 02, 2007
back home at last on my comfortable bed. hmm today was well retarded. hahha. met up with e mates from Menevorium. jammed a lil while. man, cant believe i totally lost my scream. guess i shld concentrate on my guitar n singin den. hahha. left for tpy for dinner. stupidness man, we lyk missed e bus coz we were talkin. had to wat for e next time which took AGES. argh.. anyways, we had dinner n yes, i ate alot. n i mean, ALOT. hahha. slacked at e park for a lil. made a lil vid of tharen spinnin me. hilarious!! hahha. yep yep. hmm weird tho.. i dont feel tt much emotion today.. probably ive grown numb. maybe its not so bad tis way..
22:22
Saturday, September 01, 2007
hey juz got back after sendin her home.. hmm met up with her to study today. we bumped into her friend on e wat to e mrt. her friend cleared her throat freakin loudly to get our attention. hahha. funny.. anyways, we studied at tis lil cafe place at marine parade lib. its lyk my fav place o mug man. hmm n again we bumped in her friend when we were about to leave. talk about e coincidence man. hahha!! had a pretty nice dinner at pizzahut at siglap. ate so much i think im gonna blow up!! mhmm.. n den we sat down for awhle to talk n stuff.. hmm maybe im too sensitive.. juz feel as tho things arent lyk wat it use to be.. maybe i think too much..*im done with hopin n expectin..
22:48
