.. What has become of me ..

Thursday, March 23, 2006

heyo!! hahha. im in a great mood today. i noe, im strange.. one day im in a bad mood, e next im in a gd mood. hahha. oh well..

u noe wat? i wuz late for sch!! but.. it wuz drizzlin so e pledge wuz taken in class instead of in e courtyard. tt means, e late comers were let off. heh. lucky.. ya.. lessons were pretty slacked. wait, wat am i sayin.. we only need to study durin chinese n chem!! hahha. e rest of e day is for PE n CME. cool eh?? durin recess, somebody decided to talk to me again. he said tt hes only talkin to me coz he wanted to tell me tt he saw my ex on tues with a minah punk(disgustin). ok, weird.. anyways, chem wuz damn funny. hisyam, rayne n poh jing were tryin to draw some fake tattoo on their arms. rayne wuz tryin to draw a dragon for hisyam n it wuz purple. ahh haa.. gay.. hahha. n u noe wat?? i wuz restin my arm on raynes table n i didn noe he drew a heart n wrote "florence loves lyon".. wat fuckin bullshit!! n it wuz glitery la!! wah liao.. had to rub it off before someone sees it and get angry.. hahha. ya.. kinda fell aslp durin CME. but i mean, it wuz on a borin topic!! u cant blame me for tt.. hahha. we den went to e court to play basketball.. jia an, poh jing n ru-ju were damn pro la.. damn fun to watch(im juz lazy to play).. had a short interact club meetin.. sighh.. i wanna step down la!! asked ms seah(prev teacher-in-charge) to persuade ms goh to let me step down tis yr.. n she didn want to!! wat the hell??!? grr.. hmm.. got outta sch n met up with tharen. he needed my IC to register is pre-paid card.. hes hopeless i tell ya.. hahha. bumped into mikhail n shafiq at 7eleven. kinda hanged out with em til around 3. theyre damn funny la. hahha. shafiq wuz talkin bout his tomyam noodles n some other sick stuff.. trust me, u don wanna noe.. hahha.

went to meet her today. n somebody wuz takin her own sweet time juz bcoz i said "take ur time". umm wait, ok.. i dunno wat im sayin.. hahahha. ya.. went to macs at marina square to hav lunch. wanted to ask wati to come along coz she wanna meet her, pity she has her own plans.. oh well.. next time den.. anyways, e place really changed. now marina is lyk damn spacious n cold. hahha. we went over to e esplanade n went up to e roof. there were mats n minahs there. disgustin.. she n i were laughin at em coz they laughed lyk monkeys. hahahha. ya.. we sat down somewhere far from em. talk-talk.. found out some interestin things bout her.. shall not go into details n embarrass her.. hahha. ya.. talked til around 6 n went home.. had an awesome time with her.. heh.

19:48

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

hey there. juz got home. hmm.. decided to walk home in e rain from potong pasir. been a long time since i walked in e rain. hahha. ppl were lookin at me thinkin tt im mad or somethin. oh well.. fuck em.. its nice to walk in e rain. got totally drenched tho..

wuz almost late for sch today. e darn bus didnt come.. grr.. hahha. ya.. good thing there were many bus26 around. got to sch juz on time.. lessons were well.. pretty alrite. except for Emath tho. dumb paramas wuz tryin to change e class sittin arrangements.. idiotic "darth vader"(inside jk). hahha. hisyam wuz buggin me again bout who my v.date wuz. he still wanna noe. weird.. cant believe i actually got so damn pissed tt i shout her name in his face. he wuz lyk, "... really arh??" i said "no" n he actually believed. wheew.. tt wuz close.. hahahha. caught up with darryl durin recess. he wuz writtin on somethin bout someone he admires e most. he wuz writtin on his dad. hahha. n somehow, harish n i started talkin bout darryls journey as a sperm.. weird n disgustin? i noe.. c'mon, we're guys!! hahha. but it wuz freakin funny!! had Amath next. got my test paper, i PASSED!! 17.5/20!! whoo!! first time i scored tt well.. hahha. had a really borin lesson in Amath tho.. eng, well umm tt ah siao went crazy today n kinda got hisyam into trouble. unreasonable bitch.. even scolded me for defendin him.. oh well..

darn.. had to go for tuition today.. n all thanx to it, ive got a headache now.. grr.. I HATE AMATH!! tch.. hahhaha. wuz suppose to meet up with sureli n e rest at macs, but changed my mind afterwards.. it wuz rainin so i took a slow walk home. man, it felt great. kinda thot bout things tt happened last yr n wats happenin now.. cant really believe it.. but since its really wats goin on, i gotta take it lyk a man eh?? hahhaha. oh well..

**somehow.. i cant stop thinkin bout you.. not even for a minute..

18:43

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

it has been a really slpy day for me. kept fallin aslp in my classes. strange.. i guess its e weather. it wuz rainnin juz now.. darn, wat a waste tt it stopped early. wanted to walk home in e rain.. hmm.. sorry bout tt, somethin happened juz now.. kinda umm.. moodless..

anyways, it wuz another regular day in sch. nothin new really. wuz msgin wati durin class, haven spoken to her in a while. hmm.. Emath wuz pretty fun tho. wuz jkin with jon n hansel. hahha. those guys r always full of crap. plus tt william, u'll nvr stop laughin with him around. physics yeo has gone for reservice, so a relief teacher took over his period. kinda pity her, e whole class wuz bullyin her, but not in a bad way la.. hahha. she actually had an arm wrestlin match with darren. shit, she almost beat darren. wait, lemme explain somethin first. shes only 19 n shes not exactly musclar.. kinda pretty actually. ya.. hahha. everyone were slackin. tt idiot poh jing challenged me to an arm wrestlin match. i lost of coz, c'mon hes bigsized. almost won tho.. heh. ya.. headed home straight after sch..

tis wouldnt happen if i juz trusted my guts n gone home straight.. fuck.. y does tis shit always happen to me..?

14:14

Monday, March 20, 2006

aww man.. its e start of e 2nd term.. back to sch again.. darn it.. hahha. i sound lyk some grumpy kid. ya.. well, todays e first day of sch after a wk of hols. had to pull my lazy bum ass outta my bed early again.

sch wuz ok i guess. pretty slack actually. we had a free period for geog, physics, chem n eng is always a free period. so we only hav Emath. how cool is tt??! hahhaha. ya.. i guess even e teachers were still in their hol mood. hahha. oh well.. oh ya, we got a new student in class.. well, not exactly.. he wuz suppose to be in our class but he decided to be a drop-out n now he wanna come back to study. a few others will be comin back too. all those pai kias.. wat i heard is, they need an O/N'level cert so tt they can get into ITE. man.. don think e class will be able to study with em around.. but yet i guess we should giv em a chance eh? oh ya, u noe wat? i went to get a burger after assembly n i got caught by e OM along side with jia an n benn. hahahha. we tried to run but we got trapped in e end. damn funny la. i wuz actually laughin instead of feelin afraid. luckily we were only made to finish our burger.. no punishment, whew.. hahha.

met up with tharen after sch coz he needed my IC to register for his sim card. tt idiot.. hes afraid tt his mom will find out bout him n cat. i noe tt doesn link but well, tts e reason he gav me. i cant juz not help him rite? see? im such a good friend.. hahha. oh well.. headed for tuition after tt.. n u noe wat? juz when i got to aunty kohs(tutor) place, i found tt shes overseas havin a hol.. now, how nice is tt.. grr.. so i travel all e way back to PP. went to macs to do some revision. n well, wuz studyin halfway when vivian(tt 18yr old gal) came in with flo. so they sat with me to study too.. oh man.. i think vivian still has a crush on me or somethin.. i hope not!! wuz damn scared tt any of her frienz might happen to walk pass n misunderstood n tell her.. oh well.. luckily dom n bo xiang came along. wheew.. ya, did some geog revision n had a chat with e guys. went back home around 6. n vivian followed coz shes headin e same direction.. she wuz askin me bout her.. some of e qns she asked really set me thinkin.. hmm..

19:10

Saturday, March 18, 2006

im so full!! hahha. juz had dinner. i cooked ok? hahha. u noe, i don mind goin for another round actually.. but on 2nd thot, mayb not. i think i'll blow up into bits n pieces if i eat anymore. hahha.

wuz out with her today. wuz suppose to meet at 12.30 but someone came late.. made me wait.. tsk tsk tsk.. hahhha. jkjk!! ya.. we planned to play pool actually.. but e bloody shop closed!! wat the hell!! grr.. so we ended up watchin another movie.. watch Shaggy Dog. hahha. its damn funny la. she arh.. kept sayin i look lyk tt sheep-dog.. grr.. nvm.. hahhaha. ya.. came back home with her to get some money coz i wanted to get a haircut n she wanted to follow. tch.. shes only followin juz so she can laugh while i hav my haircut. evil rite?? hahha. ya.. she wuz damn funny, she wuz so afraid tt my parents might come home when we r around. hahha. oh well.. oh ya, i took a vid of her n she didn even noe!! hahahha!! but of coz, i told her in e end n i got forced to delete it. darn, shouldve kept my bigmouth shut. hahha. anyways, we went to toa payoh to get my haircut. she kept sayin tt e hairdresser who wuz cuttin my hair is pretty. wat nonsense.. hahha. i think my hair looks kinda weird.. mab its coz im too used to my long fringe..

we took a nice long walk while i wuz sendin her home.. man, i wish time could juz slow down den coz it juz passes by to darn fast!!

21:31

Friday, March 17, 2006

hahhah. today wuz so full of shit. especially at tharens place.. man, tt guy has a whole lot of crap up his sleeve. hahha

went to hav lunch with sathish at toa payoh before we went over to tharens place for guitar lessons. tharens uncle lesson wuz givin free lessons to us. damn u should see him, hes fuckin awesome. damn gd at playin old-sch metal, blues n jazz. fuckin amazin.. we spend most of e time prankin ppl over e phone usin some sound thingy on e com. hahha. damn funny. ppl actually got scared n hang up rite after hearin e voice. hahahha!! ok, im mean. heh. ya, n they were recordin some crap into e com. singin lame songs n makin weird noises. hahha. i swear man, if u ever get to spend a day with em, ur day will be totally filled with nonstop bullshit n laughin. hahhah.

**heres a song for her..

[[take this love my dear, and cherish it in your heart
you shall have no fear, nothin could tear us apart]]

[[accept this love sincere, from the bottom of my heart
for now our time is here, and love shall heal the scars
now twilight hides the clear, and haunts the day away
we cross the last frontier, and it sets our hearts ablaze
the waves lie still and gleamin on our sea
and we're driftin down the stream]]

[[lets drown ourselves in this love
(my darlin, my only one..)
lets give our lives for this love
we are in.. make it forever..]]

[[let me dry your tears, and hold you in embrace
until we disappear in the crimson haze
the flames rise still so freezin in our sea
and we're driftin down the stream]]

[[lets drown ourselves in this love
(my darlin, my only one..)
lets give our lives for this love
we are in.. we'll do it together..]]

[[and we take our dive into the waters of eternity
here all pain has died and the only ones are you and me
the haze lies still and bleedin on our sea
and we're driftin down the stream]]

[[lets drown ourselves in this love
(my darlin, my only one..)
lets set sacrifices for this love
we are in.. make it forever..]]

[[lets drown ourselves in this love
(my darlin, my only one)
lets give our lives for this love
we are in.. we'll do it together..]]

21:06

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

im so tired!! hahha. wuz out e whole day man.. wonder how my legs survived all tt walkin. hahha. well.. today wuz awesome!! kinda had fun at e st nicks IC day n i got to meet her. heh.

had to get my lazyass outta bed early tis mornin. wuz suppose to meet e club guys at ang mo kio at 8 before we head to st nicks for their IC day. wat the hell.. all of em came after 8.20 la!! n i thot i wuz late. tch.. oh well.. took a bus there, we had no idea where to stop. we were only told to drop off at macs.. luckily we saw a st nicks gal in e bus. kinda "stalked" her to her sch. hahahha. yeah, leon wuz already there. wat the hell.. tt dude is fast.. n guess wat, he wuz talkin(ahem..) to all e gals there. ooo.. hahha. oh well.. yang "dog" jun lost his way there. tt idiot told me, "i noe how to go. u guys go first" in e end, he lost his way.. idiot, still dare to shout at me over e phone. asshole.. oh well.. went to hav some fun n games. pretty fun actually. there wuz one game when one of my club members, leon, got forfeited.. n tt idiot had to drag e whole club to forfeit with him.. so guess wat we had to do.. we had to do e chickcen dance la!! wat the hell.. fuckin lame.. hahha. oh well.. kinda left early to meet her for lunch..

wuz reachin lyk a mad dog to potong pasir to meet her at 12.30. bumped into hansel in e bus. tt asshole ate in e bloody bus n threw his garbage underneath e seats.. idiot, i ended up cleanin up for him.. see? im a nice guy.. hahahha. wuz waitin for her at pp mrt n guess who else i bumped into, florence n sureli. man.. perfect timin, they guessed tt im meetin her coz i told em i wuz waitin for someone. shouldve kept my mouth shut.. so they rushed to gardian to buy some stuff before comin back to see who she is.. n again, perfect timin, she came with her friend. i told em to hurry up but they were so damn blur la.. jks. hahahha. flo n sureli came runnin after us la!! got a beatin coz i didn wanna intro her to em. grr.. hahha. oh well.. headed to plaza sing with her. walked around abit n visited my grandma. long time since i saw her.. sat down at starbucks n talked for awhile. man.. for some reason, e place has a strong smell of sewage water.. stink lyk hell.. anyways, we headed for east coast beach next. e place wuz so damn crowded, as tho its sunday!! wat the hell.. had a prob lookin for a bench in a quiet place. walked back n forth n at e end we decided to juz on e bench near e underpass.. it wuz pretty nice tho, nice breeze. spent some time talkin n stuff. hahha. laughed alot with her.. oh ya, there wuz tis crazy lady who kept starin at her.. freaky.. we kinda left coz tt lady wuz freakin her out.. had a nice walk with her along siglap linear park.. hahha. she scared of big dogs.. tts funny.. heh.

man.. tis is strange.. im missin her already.. honestly, i think im startin to.. love her..

19:39

Monday, March 13, 2006

oh man.. im so damn tired.. spend e whole afternoon out buyin stuff for e upcomin gig n practisin for it.. think i might lose my voice tonight. hahahha.

woke up damn early tis mornin. had a pretty bad stomache ache. partly it wuz bcoz of tt skinny sathish. grr.. msg me at 7 in e mornin. idiotic baboon.. hahha. got up n wuz slackin for e whole mornin. met up with tt skinny fella in e afternoon coz we were plannin to go buy some stuff for e gig.

i wuz wearin e the Used tshirt she bought for me for valentines. feel so happy wearin tt tshirt. hahahha. well, we headed off to far east first. we wanted to get those black-red stripe sleevlings. but e ones there were damn gay.. all were for gals.. grr.. but hey, i got a pair of bikin gloves. awesome stuff. heh. its damn cool la.. sathish got some heavy metal wrist band thingy.. hahha. not tryin to be mean, but tt made him look abit gay. hahha. but e design is kinda cool. we den went to cityhall. weird, there were actually no punks at all there today.. now tts e first. hahha. went to my usual shop to look at tshirts. wanted to look for a Mudvayne tshirt for e gig. but darn it.. there wuz only one piece left n its lyk M-size.. oh well.. tough luck.. so instead, i bought a choker with a pentacle(NOT a pentagram). it actually costs 22bucks.. darn it, didn hav enuf money. but lucky me, e aunty gav me a discount, so i bought it for 16bucks!! awesome shit!! hahha.

alritey. next stop, toa payoh. had to go meet sathishs bro coz hes replacin tim for e time bein. tim got grounded coz he wuz caught with cigs in sch n e sch went to inform his parents.. man, tt hairy monkey.. he shouldve quit when we asked him to e first time.. oh well.. at least his tryin now. tts gd i guess.. so, tt means tt sathishs bro will be playin for us for e gig. but hey, hes pretty gd tho. almost e same standard as tim. awesome.. so we jammed n practised.. kinda got some things rite.. my tone wuz kinda off after awhile coz i screamed too much.. hope tt doesn happen durin e gig!! hahha. it wuz fun..

alritey, guess im gonna go now. wanna go read my bk. might giv her a call to make her happy by fallin aslp n blurtin out nonsense.. hahahha. cya!!

19:18

Sunday, March 12, 2006

heres one song tt has been playin over and over again in my head. quite abit of it tells how i actually feel..

"Note To Self" by From First To Last

two roads.. split off from here
and my life goes runnin in opposite directions
exaggeratin the barrier between who i am,
and who i want to be

i wanted to be that breath of fresh air
when everythin smell so insincere
but this taste still lingers in my mouth
deceit has ways of stickin around
and im ready to disappear
vacation seems far, seems far from here.

note to self: i miss you terribly
this is what we call a tragedy
come back to me, come back to me, to me..
note to self: i miss you terribly
this is what we call a tragedy
come back to me, come back to me, to me..

i can feel my mind wanderin again
into where i dont know
will i ever get home?
time starts movin faster than i can
and im sick of this scene,
i need to break the routine

i can feel my mind wanderin again
into where i dont know
will i ever get home?
time starts movin faster than i can
and im sick of this scene,
i need to break the routine

two roads.. split off from here
and my life goes runnin in opposite directions
exaggeratin the barrier between who i am,
and who i want to be

which part of me is lost?
i feel so close yet i am so far
which part of me is lost?
i feel so close yet i am so.. far..

16:00

Friday, March 10, 2006

yeah!! its e end of term.. hols, here i come!! hahahha. ya.. had a half day in sch today. pretty slacked. got to skip eng coz of some cca point checkin thingy. everyone wuz checkin their cca points while i went to e canteen with chris n hansel. shhh.. we werent allowed to.. heh. got a burger n a drink for myself.. man.. felt full after tt. juz sat around n slacked with e guys til we had chinese. chinese wuz kinda slacked too. spent most of our time laughin n jkin. guess no one wuz in e mood to study since its e end of term. had some end of term service.. i wonder y we always hav tt.. weird.. anyways, SCHS OVER!! woohoo!! hahha. saw my results tho.. got pretty bad grades.. sighh.. but tt aint a prob, im gonna score a hell lot better for e rest of e tests n exams.

headed to yio chu kang with jia xuan to play pool with darren. e place wuz pretty cool. damn style.. hahha. we played while waitin for darren. man.. i cant believe how rusty i wuz. but hey, at least i got back e "feel" after a few warm ups. awesome stuff. darren is damn pro la!! almost lost it him.. i juz got lucky i guess.. hahha. shaun joined us later. hes another pro player. he able to make crazy shots man.. whoo.. n jia xuan.. umm well, lets juz say hes abit too short.. hahha. shit im bein mean again. but he would make a pretty gd player if hes taller abit. honest!! hahha. somethin stupid happened to jia xuan. we were walkin pass a huge group of gals.. rite after we walked pass, jia xuan tripped n fell. hahahha. damn funny!! it looked lyk he wuz checkin out a gal n tripped. hahha. kkz, i shall not embarrass him further..

had lunch at LJ in toa payoh. so many ppl were there.. spent some time makin fun of some ppl in sch. hahha. we were talkin bout terences gf.. they were sayin tt shes ugly or somethin. they were damn mean la.. but i couldn help but laugh.. hahha. ya.. headed home right after lunch.. man.. im tired..

ok, i noe tis is gonna sound weird but im gonna try finish my The Da Vinci Code by today. i think i hav 200more pages to go. hahha. might prac a bit on e guitar too.. so anyways, cya!!

to her: its been almost 4 days since u last spoken to me.. pls ans my call tonight..

15:06

Thursday, March 09, 2006

AHH!! stress stress STRESS!! actually im not, juz kinda tired after tt chinese paper. heh. but i mean, its damn tough!! damn long too!! it had a long close-to-500words close passage, 3 multiple choice compre, n 2 long written-compre which combined has 40marks!! guess wat, i lost about 14marks coz i didn hav enuf time to finish off e last 4 qns.. darn it.. y did i hav to start thinkin n daydreamin in e middle of e test.. grr.. oh well.. its over now.. lets see e results when it gets out..

well.. had a shitty start in sch today. wuz kinda umm lost in thot..? been thinkin alot.. especially bout e last 2 entries.. anyways, i got punished again!! in chinese class.. grr.. i forgot to do my filin.. crap.. so i wuz asked to go outta class.. mr poon came by. thot hes gonna start his long lecturin, but thank god he didn. wouldve died listenin to him. hahha. well.. PE wuz next. it wuz really slack.. juz lazed around doin nothin coz i didn wanna do sports.. wasnt in e mood to.. hmm.. J.L. wuz talkin to us bout JC n Poly n stuff lyk tt.. tellin us bout our choices.. could feel e pressure already.. man.. had self-science again. tis time, it wuz pretty fun actually. had some class balloon jugglin game. everyone wuz suppose to help juggle as many balloons as possible. kinda fun. hahha. n ya, we some reflection bout it. bout teamwork n stuff lyk tt..

headed to macs with jon, jia xuan n william.. juz slacked for awhile coz we had at chinese test at 2.15. sat around n talk n we only realise tt we're gonna be late at 2.10. how nice.. rushed to a mini-mart to get a drink n there wuz a dog there. shit.. tis is gonna be disgustin.. they told me e dog had an immediate erection when i passed it.. shit, its a crossbred-gay-dog!! gross.. hahha

**missin everythin bout you..

18:27

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

well, im home from tuition again. it wasnt tt bad today i guess. mayb its bcoz sijia n alyn werent there today. hahha. manage to do quite abit of work. hey.. i think im startin to get e hang of Differentiation.. hahha. ok, im bein nonsensical again..

sch wuz alrite i guess.. has usual, e guys in class were playin pranks on n makin fun of each other(tt includes e teachers). Amath wuz kinda crapy. got punished for not doin my work. tt wuz my fault there.. heh. but does tt pengiun always need to makin fun of me by usin my cca teachers(tt female teacher) name?? grr.. he make it sound lyk theres somethin between she n i.. asshole.. anyways, had an Amath test. did pretty well i guess.. might even be able to get an A. hahha.

went to jam for awhile after sch with tharen, kia yang n his frienz. it wuz alrite.. but e instruments r gettin worse.. man.. they should get new amps too!! oh well.. rushed for tuition rite after jammin..

ive been thinkin alot today.. im such an ass.. y do i keep havin doubts..? i noe these doubts will ruin everythin, but y do i still hav it..? totally fucked up.. u noe wat? im gonna stop havin those doubts from now on. enuf of tis fuckin bullshit.. i aint gonna hurt another person.. i aint gonna hurt her.. tts a promise tt ive nvr been able to keep.. but now i will, i noe i can..

20:05

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

woo.. today has been pretty slacked. didn hav to do much work in sch. except for eng lesson.. ah siao forced us to do some letter writin. somethin bout thankin "my" best friends parents for e wk hol at their place. n we only had 30mins to complete it!! wat the hell.. grr.. oh well.. hahha. she wuz tryin to act angry in front of us. hahha. everyone juz laughed at her face.. seriously, she look damn funny when shes angry. shit, im mean.. hahha. hmm.. well, e rest of e day wuz juz listenin n copyin notes.. physics yeo wuz sick today. he tried teachin but i guess he wuz too tired. got a free period for e last period of e day. we were goin around disturbin one another. hahha.

wuz suppose to head for tuition today. but instead, i followed zhong wei n hansel to some youth centre called, Jericho. oh c'mon, i wuz tired.. cut me some slack!! hahha. ya.. zhong weis mom gav us a ride there. man.. u should see all e students there.. all crowdin around e place juz so they can play.. DOTA.. .. idiots.. i still don get wats so nice bout e game.. its so damn lame la.. hahha. so i spent my time learnin how to play tai-ti, some card game.. a pretty interestin game i muz say.. hahha. shit, juz hope i don turn into a gambler. hahha. yeah.. wuz there slackin n watch those guys waste their money on tt stupid game..

darn!! tt nicolas still doesn wanna tell me who she is!! grr.. ok, let me explain.. he told me tt theres tis gal in his church who asked him to ask me to join their church.. i asked him who she is.. n he said tt he doesn noe n tt she noes me but i dunno her, plus shes from cedar.. ok.. freaky.. who e hell can it be..?? im too damn lazy to go la.. plus ive got another gig tis sun!! woo!! hahha. shit, i better not forget my lyrics again.. hahahha. anyways, i took e bus back home with jiejun. hes one quiet kid, nvr talks much.. oh well.. saw tis pretty gal.. from beaty i think.. heh. wait.. i gotta stop tis.. nope, no more checkin gals out.. nuh uh.. hahha. sorry, kinda high today.

anyways, gonna go study for my Amath test for tmr.. matrices will be tested. darn.. oh wells.. cya!!

to her: hey.. i noe ive let u down again.. again n again.. i really dunno y im lyk tt.. im lost.. god, i hate myself.. but pls don get me wrong.. i really do wanna be with u.. but i guess ur right, i hav no confidence in myself.. i guess tis timeout will do us gd.. sighh.. im sorry..

19:44

Monday, March 06, 2006

someone help me!! havin a darn headache now.. grr.. darn Amath qns.. wuz doin Differentiation Quotions(is tt how u spell it??).. oh god, its damn tough. had to spend 10min thinkin of how im gonna solve e qns.. i think i looked lyk i wuz dyin, tts y my tutor decide to let me off early.. hahhah.

wuz so lazy to get outta bed tis mornin.. i actually thot of skippin sch juz to continue slpin.. great way to start e first mornin of e wk eh?? hahha. oh well.. got my lazy ass up anyways.. had a shower n prepared for sch. u noe, i wuz even lazy to style my hair.. hahha. now tts e first.. so i went to sch with a fluffy(ahem..) hairstyle. hahha. lessons were pretty alrite. kinda fell aslp durin assembly. there wuz some guy talkin bout toilets.. wat the hell, weird subject.. n he sound damn gay.. laughin at his own gay jokes.. ok, i better stop before i start insultin gay ppl. hahahha. hmm.. u noe wat?? recess wuz horrible.. those 3 fool of an ass.. grr.. darryl, martien n andrew.. shit man, they were makin fun of n insultin me e whole of recess.. made me lose my freakin appetite.. asses.. they kept teasin me bout her too.. grr.. to think i treat em lyk bros.. hahha. oh guess wat, we played a prank on our eng teacher today. hahaha. zhong wei happened to hav e class telephone ringtone in his phone. we were lyk playin it n made e teacher walk back n forth to e telephone. damn funny!! hahha. wanted to take a vid of it, but i kinda got caught for usin e phone. heh. oh well..

gotta go for tuition again.. sighh.. we at e train station with brian. bumped into tt irritatin sec2 guy, tt guitarist from caspars band.. grr.. luckily he didn irritate me by sayin anythin.. n guess wat, brian wuz complainin bout him too. ahhahha. he said tt he always bump into tt kid on e way to sch no matter wat time he leave home.. freaky.. hahha. oh well.. went for tuition n as usual, im e earliest n e only guy there again.. grr.. luckily benns comin on fri. finally!! a guy friend to keep me company!! hahahha.

been thinkin alot today.. some of these thots kinda made me unsure bout e relationship *to her: im sorry for tis.. pls understand..* been thinkin if i really deserve tis.. if i really deserve her.. n truthfully speakin, i dunno if im capable of makin her happy.. sighh.. wats wrong with me.. i think i think too much..

20:01

Saturday, March 04, 2006

whoo!! im back.. man, im damn tired.. think im gonna knock out early tonight. hahha. hmm.. spent e whole mornin in sch.. YES, in SCHOOL.. hahha. had chem remedial n stuff.. n ya, spent e whole afternoon with her in town.. man.. on e way home juz now, someone farted in e bloody bus!! wat the hell??!?! e whole bus stink lyk hell.. made me wanna puke.. yuck.. hahha..

had to wake up early tis mornin.. had to go for chem remedial in sch n it starts at 8am!! but oh well.. if it helps pull up my marks, i dont mind.. ya.. did formula eqn n stuff.. my brain had a total black out after at 9 n we still had an hr more to go.. *growls..* oh well.. but i think i did learn quite abit, tts gd i guess.. headed to macs to hav breakfast. e actual plan wuz to follow poh jing to play pool, but he left with his sis for high-tea. grr.. rich fella.. hahha. oh well.. headed home to rest for a lil while after brekky..

hmm.. wuz out with her tis afternoon. man.. she look great today!! shit, wat am i sayin.. she always does!! hahahha. went to watch Final Destination3 at lido. whew.. manage to get e tix.. by right they shouldnt be sellin to us coz e show is NC16 n im only 15. heh. got lucky i guess. oh guess wat, e ticket guy outside e theatre caught us off-guard. he asked her if how old she is. luckily she said shes 16 or we would be kicked out of e cinema. hahahha. e show wuz pretty awesome. kinda excitin but freaky n disgustin. damn gory n bloody, but tts cool!! hahha. oh ya.. u noe wat?? there wuz this scene where 2 gals were about to get killed while havin artificial tannin n they were umm naked.. she turned n gav me a look straight away.. hahha. eh.. im not tt disgustin ok?? i didnt stare, i swear!! hahahha. hmm.. oh ya, n guess who bumped into in e theatre.. i bumped into eeqah, martiens ex-gf n my exs best-friend.. couldnt recognise her at all!! man.. anyways, she n i den went to look for a present for her bro. hes b'day is juz around e corner so ya.. she got him a belt. pretty nice one.. hahha. somethin happened at e shop.. heh. shall not embarrass her.. hahahha. ya.. we had lunch, walked around n stuff.. headed to plaza sing before we went home. wanted to say hi to my grandmom, haven seen her in ages. pity she isnt there.. oh well.. we saw a group of punks showin off outside e mrt. i don get wats so nice bout bein a punk.. juz wastin ur life away.. thank god i got out before i got deeper n became one..

hmm.. sent her home juz now. we took e long way.. it wuz nice, with e breeze in stuff.. took a slow stroll.. darn, wanted to spend more time with her.. y does time fly pass so quickly when im with her.. grr.. oh well.. shouldnt complain i guess.. hahha.

to her: hey there.. hahha. u look so funny while watchin e movie. hahahha!! kkz, i wont laugh at ya anymore.. heh. well.. had great day with ya.. sorry bout me bein quiet today.. kinda tired n wuz thinkin of some stuff.. oh well.. lookin forward to see ya soon again.. missin u already..

20:53

Friday, March 03, 2006

my head is gonna blow up if i do another math qns.. grr.. been doin Differentiate for Amath.. man.. tts one hell of a tough topic.. got forced by my tutor n my sch teacher to do more n more qns.. im gonna die if i don stop for today!! hahaha.

well.. sch wuz pretty alrite today. almost had to do a write-up on e NYP porno case durin eng today. luckily ah siao(eng teacher) *tt stands for crazy.. hahahha!!* ran outta time while she wuz doin some corrections with us. i seriously dunno wat to write bout tt!! chinese wuz alrite i guess. had to do a speech report on e recent curfew raised by e government. grr.. i still don understand y they gotta put it at 11pm. tt isnt fair at all.. grr.. anyways.. we had Saints Aflame Day today. its something set up by e Saints for Christ(a sch cca). it wuz pretty alrite.. didn really enjoy it tho.. im not a christian.. spent most of e time crappin with ezra. hahha. we got released early n kinda thot of goin over ta ezras place to past time coz my tuition starts at 3. but decided not too.. lazy to go over.. hahha. im such a pig.. bumped into dennis on e way for tuition. catched up with him.. haven been talkin to him much, didn noe so many things happened to him..

tuition wuz pretty quiet today. sijia n alyn wasnt around, so theres nobody to crap with. hahha. well, it wuz quiet til marcus sis came(shit, i dunno how to spell her name. heh). man.. she started laughin n laughin n as i watch her laugh, i started laughin too. hahhaha!! its amazin how contagious someones laughter can be. hahha. she wuz makin fun of aunty koh(tutor), shes damn funny la. i actually laughed til i had stomache muscle cramps. HHAHA!! man..

oh well.. pretty alrite day i guess. but tmr gonna be better. cant wait to see her tmr. man.. i miss her so much.. anyways, gonna go read my bk soon. cya!!

19:47

Thursday, March 02, 2006

today wuz damn slacked.. the only lessons we had wuz chinese n chem. e rest were free periods. hahha. awesome stuff. oh ya, guess wat, we had our class photo-takin tis mornin. i bet i screwed up my pic.. damn.. oh well, at least i had fun for e fun-pic. hahha. almost fell onto e guys in front. had self-science again.. umm actually, it wuz kind of a free period. some new teacher wuz talkin bout acceptence n he related his army life to it. i kept fallin aslp listenin to him. hahha. but i mean, he sound damn mono n i wuz kinda tired.. hmm.. our group went to play soccer after tt. GOOD!! now i can slp in peace. hahha. wuz listenin to my mp3 n slpin til sch ended.. hmm.. y am i so tired today..

wuz hangin out with ezra n jimmy while waitin for darryl n junius to finish their remedial. damn.. caspars new guitarist is DAMN irritatin!! grr..!! kept askin me if 'smells like teen spirit' is e best song i can play, of coz i lied n said yes coz i don want him to bug me to teach him other songs.. hes been buggin me for guitar tips.. grr... anyways, ezra helped me make a ball outta sticky-tape. awesome!! hahha. damn nice to toss around. hmm.. went to meet up with darryl coz he asked me to follow him go watch e tennis semis at kallang. but guess wat, he left without me!! grr.. idiot.. so in e end i had to make my way there on my own.. but it wuz pretty worth it tho. saw some pretty good players there. pretty hot gals too.. hahha. JKSJKS!!

hmm.. juz realise tt there r actually ppl who really hate me n hav been sayin bad things bout me behind my back. well, mostly e "skaters" in SA. i dunno wats their prob. y, isit coz i wore a black sweater to sch durin jan n look lyk a poser?? but i mean, they r e guys who copied me. wearin black sweaters n stuff.. grr.. i didn even offend em!! n they even went around writin "lyon is an arse" on e studyin benches.. oh well.. if tts wat they wanna do, tts fine with me. i aint gonna care no more..

18:31