.. What has become of me ..

Sunday, June 07, 2009

I CANT WAIT

Resurrection was fuckin awesome yesterday!! all the bands were awesome, especially Meltgsnow, Bhelliom and Meza Virs. damn!! one of the best damn gigs this year, for sure. i only wish that sweetheart was there with me..

she has been away in UK for 9 days now, and the last message that i received from her was 7 days ago.. sighh.. i really really miss her, and i hope that shes alright. just gotta hang in there, she'll be back tomorrow.

*dont let our fears come true..

14:31

Friday, May 29, 2009

Future..

just got home not long ago from town. was watchin Terminator: Salvation with Martien, Ezra and JJ. ok, firstly, the movie was kickass!! but sadly, i was so tired that i almost fall asleep. but i enjoyed the movie still. i was pretty surprised that Christian Bale did a pretty good job actin the role of John Conner. will watch it again soon, but together with the first 3 parts. heh. anyways, i finally got my CMSK report done last night, and handed it in this mornin. whew.. met Wafah for lunch and we did a lot catchin up. glad to see that she better now. went him to put down my stuff and headed how to town to meet the guys. i havent seen them in ages and i feel really bad to keep backin out on them everytime they ask me out. so yep, finally made it a point to ask them out. brings back old memories..

i love you baby, and i know that everythin is gonna be alright. we will make things better. i guess you goin away to the Lit trip to e UK would be a good chance to de-stress and settle certain thoughts.. aye.. thinkin about you goin makes me feel sad, im really gonna miss you.. )=

* my fears are back again, i need to stop makin the same mistake..

00:15

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Heavy Heart...

oh my god, im so freakin tired. today has been one of the longest days since i entered TP. can you believe it? i stayed in school from 9am-7pm!! 10 freakin hours with only an hour of break. jeez.. anyways, we finally got some things done. our OOAD assignment is almost complete thanks to Kevin who convinced Zakiy and i to stay behind to complete it. Darren helped us out a whole lot. i think we would be totally lost if it wasnt for him. hahah. OH MY GOD!! TERM TESTS ARE STARTIN NEXT WEEK!! =/

* i miss you, sweetheart..

22:38

FAITH AND TRUST..

i didnt go to school today. was kinda unwell so i rested at home and at the same time got some work done. OOAD was a killer. the assignment is fucked up. dumbass teacher never tells us the right answer even when we asked if we got things right. he only keeps sayin "i wont give you the fish, i will only show you how to fish." erghh!! feel like punchin him in the face. well, at least i finally got things done. now ive got a whole lot more to do..

ive been thinkin about it for a while now.. have i improved? have i learnt? have i learnt how to "listen"? i really dont know.. i really hope i have.. but im still afraid that im just reassurin myself so that it wont keep botherin me.. but it doesnt seem to work. i need you to guide me, though i am tryin to figure things out on my own. i need you stop me from makin the wrong moves, before its too late and we have to go through the same thing again. i wanna learn and i dont wanna keep makin the same mistakes..

* whats on your mind..? talk to me..

00:08

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

STRESSED

omg, im like finally done with one of my assignments, and ive still have a report to finish by 9am tommorrow. i swear, poly life is retarded. ahh well, what to do.. anyways, today shall be a good day. gonna be having CSAD presentation later, and right after is French. heh. will be headin out to look for shoes and probably a jacket later in the evenin with Sathish and Dev.

I MISS ANI SO MUCH.. )= the last time i met her was last saturday, and im already dyin. hahahah. hopefully things go well tommorrow so we can meet up and have lunch or somethin. i miss snugglin up with her.. =/

10:06

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Crumble.

it has been such a long time since i blogged.. ive totally forgotten that i have one.. but i guess im back here because i really need someone to talk to, but it seems like im alone.

today i lost an old friend. it may hav been my fault for tellin people wat i heard, things that may not be true and i couldnt believe. and im sorry if it seems that im badmouthin you.

things arent goin so well.. im just really lost right now.. i really cant think straight. i need to say wat i want to say but somehow when i want to say it, nothin comes out. its not tt i wanna cut myself off on purpose, i dont even noe e reason for it.. i juz wanna make things right from now on.. its not goin to be easy but im willin to give it everythin ive got. after hearin wat you said, i realised how much i havent listened.. how much ive been shuttin myself away just when we're gettin somewhere.. what a lousy boyfriend i am.. or rather what a horrible person i am. you've said that im the best boyfriend, but after everythin, i think im probably the worst.. it hurts so much inside, but i'll have to deal with it alone. i just hope that things work out and that i am able to pull myself and everythin else back together.

*im a horrible person.. i need to change.. i have to..

15:57

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

exhausted..

i have no idea way am i so freakin tired today. maybe its just the weather, or maybe i just been sleepin too much. jammed with the band today, but without tharen cause he was still in M'sia. hes back already if im not wrong. we had a few mistakes but i think it should cause much of a problem. yep. met up with baby, nick, sara n nina at Cityhall. we just walked around alot before havin dinner at Marina Square burgerking. oh yah, we had sheesha at Haji Lane. finally had it after so long, though the place is so much different now. aye.. i planned to study this week, but i guess its only gonna happen later in the day. sighh.. i gotta get started.. anyways, baby and i took a cab home. i dropped her off at an ATM near to her place cause she needed to draw some cash and continued on home. there was a song that goes somethin like, "id rather spend bad times with you, than have good times with anyone else." man, its stuck in my head.. erghh..

*i dont wanna be sensitive like before.. im thinkin and worryin too much again.. the past isnt goin to repeat itself.. no, im convinced that it wont. everythin is fine, everythin will be alright.. i know it will..

00:54

Saturday, November 29, 2008

song: act appalled - Circa Survive

omg, im so freakin sleepy. i swear, i hate to fall asleep in the bus or train home. so freakin annoyin. ergh!! anyways, sighh.. i have so much work to do but i dont know how to start on them. i should really get started but im missin out on alot of information that i need. guess i'll be gettin shitty marks aye.. sighh.. hmm was just out with the guys and all. we were suppose to do work but we all ended up doin nonsense. erghh!! frustration!! was starvin all the way until 9 or so.. had mee goreng and mutton soup. killer combination man!! im so gonna die from heart failure. hahaha. ok, thats a pretty scary joke. aye.

you know, ive been feelin very empty these days.. ever since Anisiah left for India. i wish so much that she could come back sooner but i guess i'll juz have to bear with it for another 18 more days. im just very worried because of the bombings in Mumbai. sighh.. please be safe baby. god, i miss her so very much.. ):

*maybe this is a test for us to prove how strong our love is.. i wont allow anythin or anybody to come between us.

22:41